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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168007">The Hidden Document (oneshot)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DreamSMP</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anteaters - Freeform, Dream Smp, Friendship, Gen, Light Swearing, Light-Hearted, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), first fanfic on here woot woot, secret, shitpost, this is probably trash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:15:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tubbo had always had a tough time on the SMP. After he was declared president everything spiraled out of control. Fundy and Ranboo decided one day that the young president needed a break so they invited Tubbo to tag along in one of their little explorations. Little did Tubbo know, He would uncover a document never seen before, holding the answers to a question many have asked. And the writer of this document was none other than former president Wilbur Soot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Hidden Document (oneshot)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Bear in mind I'm not the best writer<br/>please enjoy :D<br/>(quotes are talking, apostrophes are for thoughts)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>~~ Tubbo POV ~~<br/>
Despite it only being a few days since becoming the president, I’m already exhausted. Constant work and supervision is needed 24/7 around L’manberg since the explosion. It was already hard enough having a horrible sleep schedule but now I have to suffer extra. I barely get to spend any time with any of my friends. My office is pretty nice and spacious while the desk I sit at daily has gotten comfortable to sleep at. There have been instances where I’ve been up so late I lose track of time and forget to go home for the day.<br/>
*knock knock knock* “Hey Tubbers you in there?”, Fundy asks behind my office door. I scatter out of my chair and quickly ruffle up my brown hair before opening the door for the fox. “Oh wow, you don’t look too good, chief. Do yah need anything?”, he asked me, looking at my noticeable eye bags. I rubbed my eyes a bit to try and get rid of them before he worries more.<br/>
“No, no, no, I’m all good. What was it you needed, Fundy?”, I ask him and try to change the subject. “Oh uh… Ranboo and I are going to go check out some ruins from the old l’manberg. I saw a few out in the forest when exploring. We may or may not be trying to yoink a few old forgotten valuables. You want in?”, He snickered. The fox took his hand out of his jacket pocket and held it out for a handshake. Fundy seemed to be telling the truth, no tricky business.<br/>
‘Exploring? When was the last time I did that. Ever since I’ve become president it’s all a big blur. Maybe I can take a break from the serious business for a moment…’<br/>
“An exploration huh? I’m in.” smiling, I shake his hand and he leads me outside. Ranboo was leaning against the door of his house, reading over a small leather book in his hands. His black and white ears twitch when we get closer and his head moves to look at us. “You ready Fundy?”, putting his book away into his pocket he walks over to us.<br/>
“Yep, and Tubbster is joining us this time! That means whatever we’re doing isn't illegal if the president is involved.”Fundy chuckles out. Ranboo sighs and bumps Fundy with his elbow. After that little interaction, Ranboo walks over to me and hands me a piece of grass. I look at the block with a  puzzled expression.<br/>
‘Grass… why grass?’<br/>
As if he read my mind he explains,” Usually when I place down grass I get less stressed, I’ve noticed you have been way more busy lately so maybe you can try it out?” I fidget with the block a bit before awkwardly placing it on the ground next to me. It’s funny how such a simple thing can cheer Ranboo up. Ranboo looks at me expectantly and I grin at him like an idiot. He grins back and we continue following Fundy into the spruce forest behind L’manberg.<br/>
~<br/>
“100 BOTTLES OF BEER- wait you guys can’t drink that stuff right?”, Fundy shouts out, Ranboo and I both respond with,”100 BOTTLES OF MILK ON THE WALL, 100 BOTTLES OF MILK-” and so the exploration continues. With lots of catJAMs along the way.<br/>
~~<br/>
In front of us is a large mossy stone building crumbling by the second. It seems to be holding on for dear life. Fundy stops and announces in a dramatic tone,”And here we are boys, the ruins I found on my last venture! I was humble enough to leave it unlooted so whatever you find is yours to keep alrighty?”<br/>
We all nod at each other and the group separates from each other, Fundy and Ranboo both opting for the left side of the building while I take the right.<br/>
I walk through the crumbling stone door frame and notice how murky and unkempt everything was. Since the building is so old looking there might not even be any loot to steal in the first place.<br/>
The messiness continued for a while until I stumbled across a dark oak door in pristine quality compared to the rest of the building. I crack it open a bit to peek inside and I can’t believe what I see. Bookcases cover the walls and lanterns hang from the ceiling. A small dark oak desk was in the middle of the room with a small matching chair alongside it. It’s such a stark contrast from the outside I would have never expected this. Even though the room is in better condition than the outside, It still seems very abandoned. Everything is still very dusty and there are still some weeds growing through cracks in the walls.<br/>
A book lay on the desk in the middle of the room, opened up onto one specific page. I gently pick up the book to analyze the text and I can’t believe what I see.<br/>
________________________<br/>
Why I believe Anteaters are the Worst Animal on the Planet<br/>
by: Wilbur Soot, current president of L'manberg<br/>
sources: facts and professional opinions<br/>
(If you disagree, I will personally have you executed)<br/>
Anteaters have stupid looking tails which serve no purpose to the foul creature other than brushing along the dirt and picking up particles of filth. The long silky strands get tainted with mud. The anatomy of the tail is like a large rat. It would be more beneficial for anteaters to have no hair on their tails to prevent infections or clogged pores, but the creature decides to remain.</p><p>One of the close genetic relatives to the anteater is unsurprisingly the sloth and the armadillo. This shows the genetics of the anteater are just naturally the genes of a wimp. Armadillos curl in a ball when threatened and sloths stay in trees their entire lives (unless they need to take a dump). The genetic makeup of the Anteater shows how much of a failure of an animal it is. It does not help that one of its closest relatives is widely known as the animal who dies very oftenly from being on the forest floor shitting.</p><p>The head of the anteater looks like an extremely over ripe banana with two sharpie marks as the eyes. The true reason the anteater has a black marking underneath its neck is because the rest of the creatures features are so boring, it needs to make up with a small amount of difference in color. It’s so bland it needs a physical attribute to assist in it being seen in the wild by predators. The only thing I have a small amount of respect for this foul beast for is the tongue. Even then, the anteater has stolen the long tongue idea from another animal known as the chameleon. Anteaters are unoriginal, plain and simple.</p><p>The name of the anteater couldn’t be less unoriginal. Anteater is the animal equivalent of the name burgerconsumer or waterdrinker. The consumption of ants and small insects is anything but unique. There are millions of animals which can also eat ants. This adds to how unoriginal this creature is, as stated in the last paragraph. Scientific studies have also recorded that these creatures have no teeth. Basically restricting them even further from the ability to eat different foods.</p><p>Anteaters are clunky looking and awkward creatures. They stumble around on their short stubby legs in search of food. Instead of eating one bit of food which may come into view, opt for eating thousands of small insects which sometimes carry poison and stingers. Despite scientific researches showing these creatures may be a bit more intelligent than most creatures, they still seem to act as if they have the brain capacity of a maggot and a brain the size of a miniature pea.</p><p>If anyone is to come into contact with a wild anteater without any knowledge of the animal, I presume they will receive the idea it is a large cat who was run over by a car multiple times somehow surviving. </p><p>Anteaters are recorded to have horrible vision and sight. This fact personally makes me laugh because they seem to be the world’s punching bag. If I ever saw an anteater in public, I would punch it multiple times over. The pricks deserve it.</p><p>Like most other animals, these disgusting things have some dangerous aspects as well. If they didn’t, they would have been wiped from the earth ages ago. It has been documented that anteaters have killed hunters in the past. First off, I believe these were not anteaters who committed this murder, I believe the anteater was just a coverup for the secret assassin sent to kill the hunters. This assassin I talk of brought along an anteater to disguise the crime and distract the investigators long enough to escape the crime scene. </p><p>Thank you for reading my document on why Anteaters are the most inferior species in the Animal kingdom.<br/>
________________________</p><p>Ever since that day, the perspectives of everyone in L’manberg changed. Dream was no longer the biggest threat, it was anteaters. Fundy and Ranboo banded together to create an Anteater assassination squad and everyone lived happily ever after.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HAH, thought it was serious didn't cha? Maybe the anteater tag was a bit too obvious... heh</p></blockquote></div></div>
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